Ever get this SINKING feeling
Ever felt you been here before and yet not...Deja vu, right? NO, it's a bad remake of a classic disaster film.
32 years later, Hallmark Entertainment tries to do a mini series of the Poseidon with modern day updates. Instead of a tidal wave, it is a bomb that inverts the ship upside down. The cop character is now a homeland security agent (Adam Baldwin) dragging a terrorist through the wreckage of the ship to justice. The priest is now a Bishop (Rutger Hauer). The Red Button character from the first movie, now played by Bryan Brown, is now married to singer, an International Idol pop star. The smart kid from the first film is now a junior Speilburg with a video cam that never runs out of battery life. The young girl (Pamela Sue Martin character in the first film) is now the daughter of Steve Guttenberg, a cheating family man who is headed for divorce. Peter Weller is the Captain who character name is the same as the original book's author (Paul Gallico)...a nice touch...
Mediocrity upside down
...but a long way from Hell, last year's mini-series version of The Poseidon Adventure doesn't live down to its reputation. Aside from Peter Weller's every other line being "I'm Captain Paul Gallico" or "This is your captain, Paul Gallico" just in case anyone doesn't get the joke or Steve Guttenberg (looking increasingly like a failed attempt at cloning Albert Brooks) constantly endangering everyone's life to stop them to tell him how much he likes them with what he thinks is his best sincere voice but which really sounds like someone trying to have a conversation while having a particularly difficult bowel movement, there aren't many unintentional laughs to be had.
Rutger Hauer simply looks bewildered, as if he wandered onto the wrong set by mistake and somebody gave him a hat and a dog collar, Sylvia Syms looks alarmingly like Shelley Winters, C. Thomas Howell is starting to look even more alarmingly like an ageing 80s porn star and only Bryan Brown and Adam Baldwin look...
I'll give it TWO STARS for the BEDROOM SCENE
This tepid remake of the Irwin Allen original features only one thing worth mentioning: the topsy-turvy rollover scene between Steve Guttenberg's character and his shipboard mistress as the two are in the midst of a "secret rendezvous." The sight of the tumbling pair, along with the cabin's furniture and other appointments, is good for a snicker or two.
The computer imagery of the overturning ship, as well as the other "special effects," is about as wooden as a deck chair from the Titanic.
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